Koa Hiatamadl
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  • Hubert van Goisern und die Alpinkatzen
  • Koa Hiatamadl
  • Released in: 1992

In "Koa Hiatamadl," Hubert knows exactly what he wants in a girl: she needs to be round. He complains about most people being built like a picket fence.

REVIEW BY Roxanne Sancto Music EXPERT
Review posted: 26/12/2013

Hubert van Goisern took his stage name, van Goisern, from his Austrian hometown of Bad Goisern. After having spent several years in South Africa, Canada, and the Philippines between the years 1972 and 1983, he finally returned to Austria and formed the Original Alpinkatzen band with Wolfgang Staribacher. They joined Wolfgang Ambros, Joesi Prokopetz, and Manfred Tauchen on the Watzmann tour, the stage adaptation of their concept album Der Watzmann ruft, which tells the story of the eerie, indescribable fear- unheimliche, nicht greifbare Furcht - the local people feel towards the mountains.

After various band changes, Hubert van Goisern and the Alpinekatzen had their breakthrough in 1992 with their album Aufgeigen statt niederschiassen (Tune it up instead of shooting it down), with hits like “Heast as nit” (Can't you hear it) and “Koa Hiatamadl” (No herder girl). Since its release, “Koa Hiatamadl” hasn't missed a single carnival in Austria or Bavaria, and to this day, every single bar will play the song at least 10 times a day during Fasching (carnival) season.


"Since its release, “Koa Hiatamadl” hasn't missed a single carnival in Austria or Bavaria, and to this day, every single bar will play the song at least 10 times a day during Fasching (carnival) season"


In the song, Hubert knows exactly what he wants in a girl (Dirndl): she needs to be round (rund mua sei). He complains about most people being built (or having a frame, a Gstell" in Bavarian) like a picket fence (zaundürr), and he could never be attracted to such a woman (A solch oane de kunnt's nia sei). It’s almost as if he were shrugging his shoulders, giving up on ever finding a female specimen to his liking, sighing, “Ja mei, Ja mei (Oh my/Oh well) and “Uh mei” (Oh, no/Oh well). Basically, he doesn't want a herder girl, because she won't have “dicke Wadln” (fat calves). He wants a Dirndl from town with fat calves! Bavarians generally prefer their women with a bit of meat on them. Just look at how the traditional dress (also called Dirndl) is cut: it needs to be filled out nicely!

Although success is said to have gone to von Goisern’s head a little, he continues to entertain people with great musicians, fun songs, and heartfelt ballads. If you ever catch him live, show your Wadln and dance all you want. Just don’t try to sing or, worse still, yodel along. Apparently, he really, really hates it…

Lyrics:

Ja mei, ja mei wenn in mir um a Diandl schau dann woa i scho genau rund mua sei und a wengerl resch u mei Mei, ja mei de meist'n Menscha ham a Gstell zaundürr und mager wiadawll Mei, ja mei A solch oane de kunnt's nia sei Koa Hiatamadl mag i nit hat koane dickn Wadln nit i mag a Diandl aus da Stadt was dicke Wadln hat.Mei, ja mei die Moni mit de rot'n Hoar is schena nu wia voriges Jahr Hat a gradnit wenig auf da Waag Mei - u mei de Annamiarl kenn i schon da renn i liaba glei davon is nix dran hint'n und voran Koa Hiatamadl mag i nit hat koane dickn Wadln nit i mag a Diandl aus da Stadt was dicke Wadln hat. Schen san de Landertanz schen san de Almenkranz drob'n auf'n Huat baid's schen quigizen tuat.

English lyrics:

Oh well, oh well, When I look around for a girl I already know she needs to be round and a little cheeky. Oh well, oh well. Most people have a framework picket-fence-thin and stubbornly skinny. Oh well, oh well. It could never be one of those I don't want no herders girl she don't have no fat calves. I want a girl from town, who has fat calves. Well, oh well. Moni with the red hair is prettier than the year before, but shows low on the scale. Well, oh well. Annamiarl I know already, I'd rather run from her. She has nothing on her, not on the front nor on the back. I don't want no herders girl, she don't have no fat calves. I want a girl from town who was fat calves. Nice are the folk dances. Nice is the alpine wreath on top of the hat, cause it looks funny.


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